I hope this worked – I’m attempting to share or “reblog” a post and I’m also writing for the first time on my phone.
The title of the original post: The Privilege of Independence caught my eye and when I saw that the poster had also been a dancer before chronic illness took over, I decided that I would attempt to share the post on my feed.
I just wanted to add first though that mourning and grieving for lost independence doesn’t mean being ungrateful for all the help and care that we receive. I’ve been helped by family, friends and professional carers and I’m grateful to every single person, but that doesn’t stop me feeling acutely the loss of the person I used to be.
I talked today with someone today about loss and difficult it is to reconcile your old and new lives because this is a new life and not one that I or any of the people around me would have chosen, but we didn’t get a choice and now we have to come to terms with it.
I already blogged about how the loss of work affected my sense of purpose in my life, but I don’t think it is easy for anyone to understand how needing the help of people to carry out even the simplest if tasks eats away at your sense of self. I think it’s only now that I’ve realized how much I valued my independence, but also how much I completely took it forgranted, but then how could that have been any other way because I for one didn’t know any other way to live my life. Needing care as a young (relatively speaking!) adult from either a family member or from professional carers was nor something I planned for my thirties! Indeed, it doesn’t seem to be anyone plans for because finding services for adults is incredibly difficult; it seems to be ok in society to be a child or an elderly person seeking care or other disability services, but nothing between the two.
I’m sure I’ll blog again about the difficulty in finding practical services designed to help or be accessible to “people like me” but for now I’ll just finish by saying that I think it’s going to take me some time to get that straight in my head – that I can both thank everyone who has and will continue to help me – I couldn’t and wouldn’t be without them, but that it is ok to mourn the loss of my ability to be fully independent and I’ll likely be doing that for some time to come.
Enjoy the original post 🙂 xx
ps. the post that I want to share will appear in above this one in a separate post and you’ll need to click the link to see the full original post. Thank you!!